OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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