He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize