Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
