I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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