The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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