Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
