I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
