So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
