This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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