Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize