ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
