THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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