you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
