fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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