Me too!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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