his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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