I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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