Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
