Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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