This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
