yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wanna passion pit in your ass
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
