"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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