this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
