i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
