I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize