I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
