Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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