I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
