they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
