I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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