I'm gonna have a badass scar
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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