So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
