none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you still have your period?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize