So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
