Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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