Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
