he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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