So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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