You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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