is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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