well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
