You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
