How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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