do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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