oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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