Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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