I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
