Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
