your room smells of hookers.
And success
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
