if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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