I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
