FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize