Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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