Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
