Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
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I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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