dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
