i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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