i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
