Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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