so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
