The maid of honor just puked.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
