wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
