I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
